funny

I was at the mall the other day eating at the food court, when I noticed an old man watching a teenager sitting next to him.

The teenager had spiked hair in all different colors: green, red, yellow, orange, and blue.

The old man kept staring at him. The teenager would look and find the old man staring every time. When the teenager had enough, he sarcastically asked, "What's the matter old man, never done anything wild in your life?"

The old man did not bat an eye in his response,
"Got drunk once and had sex with a peacock", he said. "I was just wondering if you were my son."

Flush dat shit...LOL

Spoild brat lol

glumbert - Spoiled Pageant Queen?

Def Jam Poetry - Dave Chappelle

Jamie Foxx on Def Jam Poetry

This shizzle is off the hizzle

Stop the Spying!

Call your representatives and tell ALL your friends. Would we be given immunity for a crime we committed, nope. Neither should the big telecom companies that compromised our civil liberties

Lake Show Bitches

We can put to rest the "Best Player on the Fuckin Planet" Debate....KO mutha fukin BE and now possibly the front runner to take all this shit....Shaq looked real good...but we beat them with out him, with him, without Gasol and with Gasol...we are good...now....Get the Hateraide on ice gentlemen

The Supreme Court May Be At It Again

This is not only sickening, most people in this country would have a problem with what may happen from this crap!!

The Smartest Kid In Class

Yet another classic foreign commerical

REDNECK LOVE

this redneck girl came home one day and asked her dad if she could have money to buy a prom dress the father replied no we cant afford it.she begs and begs until her dad gives in and says ill make you a deal you suck my dick and ill give you the money she says ok and goes down on the old man then pauses ..geez dad your dick tastes like shit..the dad says probably your brother wanted to borrow the car.

What Kind OF Super Hero Would You Be?

Here we go again...

Guess who said this. "Good morning, right now terroists are planning attacks against our country" Damn not even a good morning kiss just straight to the mind fuck. Not even Happy Valenties Day to his wife thats just wrong.....,

Gettin nastier at the border...

Someone set up a wire to try to decapitate BP agents on motorcycles/quads.

Here

Pieces of shit.

Pussy or Beer

It is time to do a comparison between two things treasured by men, beer and pussy...

A beer is always wet.
A pussy needs encouragement.
Advantage: Beer.

A beer tastes horrible served hot.
A pussy tastes better served hot.
Advantage: Pussy.

Having an ice cold beer makes you satisfied.
Having an ice cold pussy makes you Hillary Clinton.
Advantage: Beer.

Beers have commercials making fun of skunky ones.
Pussy does not.
advantage: Tie

If you get a hair in your teeth
consuming pussy, you are not disgusted.
Advantage: Pussy

24 beers come in a box.
A pussy is a box you can come in.
Advantage: Pussy

Too much head makes you mad at the
person giving you a beer.
Advantage: Pussy.

If a beer is brewed with yeast, it is
still edible.
Advantage: Beer.

If you come home smelling like beer,
your wife may get mad. If you come home
smelling like pussy, she will definitely get mad.
Advantage: Beer.

6 beers in a night and you better not
drive. 6 pussies in a night and you
have done all the driving you need.
Advantage: Pussy

Buy too much beer and you will get fat.
Buy too much pussy and you will get poor.
Advantage: Tie

It is socially acceptable to have a beer in the stands at a football game.
You are a legend if you have a pussy in the stands at a football game.
Advantage: Pussy

If a cop smells beer on your breath,
you are going to get a breathalyzer.
If a cop smells pussy on your breath,
you are going to get a high five.
Advantage: Pussy

With beer, bigger is better.
Advantage: beer.

Wearing a condom does not make a beer
any less enjoyable.
Advantage: beer.

Pussy can make you see God. Beer can
make you see the porcelain god.
Advantage: Pussy

If you think all day about the next pussy
you will have, you are normal.
If you think all day about your next beer,
you are an alcoholic.
Advantage: Pussy

Peeling labels off of beers is fun.
Peeling panties off of pussy is more fun.
Advantage: Pussy.

If you try to snag a beer at work,
you get fired. If you try to snag a pussy
at work, you get hit with sexual harassment.
Advantage: Tie

If you suddenly drop a beer, it may
break. If you suddenly drop a pussy,
it may hunt you down like the dog you are.
Advantage: Beer.

If you change to another beer, your
old brand will gladly have you back.
Advantage: Beer.

The best pussy you have ever had is
not gone once you have enjoyed it.
Advantage: Pussy.

The worst pussy you have ever had is
not gone once you have enjoyed it.
Advantage: Beer.

Bad beer: Schlitz, PBR, Old Swill.
Bad pussy: Roseanne, Janet Reno, Madeline Albright.
Advantage: Tie

Good beer: Samuel Adams, Moosehead,
Pete's Wicked Winter Brew.
Good pussy: Almost all but the above.
Advantage Pussy.

The government taxes beer.
Advantage: Pussy.

lol

Personalized Plate

This is a personalized plate found on a white van with tinted windows and a sign saying "Free Candy" posted on the side

Be careful...

If you take your laptop or other electronics out of the country with you.

You may be in for a surprise when you return.

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2008/02/06/AR2008020604763.html

Indoor Golf Instructor

Indoor golf instructor - yeah right! ha ha

Rules of the games:

1. Player shall furnish his own equipment for play, normally one club and two balls.

2. Play on the course must be approved by the owner of the hole.

3. Unlike outdoor golf, the object is to get the club in the hole, and keep the balls out.

4. For most effective play, the club should have a firm shaft. Course owners are permitted to check shaft stiffness before play begins.

5. Course owners reserve the right to restrict club length to avoid damage to the hole.

6. The object of the game is to take as many strokes as necessary until the owner is satisfied that play is complete. Failure to do so may result in being denied permission to play again.

7. It is considered bad form to begin playing the hole immediately upon arrival. Experienced players will normally take time to admire the entire course, paying special attention to well-formed mounds and bunkers.

8. Slow play is encouraged, but players should be prepared to proceed at a quicker pace a the owner's request.

9. IT IS CONSIDERED AN OUTSTANDING PERFORMANCE, TIME PERMITTING, TO PALY THE SAME HOLE SEVERAL TIMES IN ONE MATCH.

Romney

That idiot Romney suspended his campaign and while that is good news what he said is not. Staying true to the Neo-Cons and Ultra Right wing he hid is own failures as a candidate that was in the lead as recent as 3 months ago by saying we need to "defeat" terror and that McCain would lead us to this victory among other stupid ass "crying wolf" shit All this does is make most Americans that much more jaded so that when a real viable threat is upon us we will be just as ho-hum as the last time.

Bitch Ass Shaq

WOW...no opinion on bitch ass SHAQ huh...you mufukas kill me!....I actually like the move for Phoenix...howeva...like I been sayin since HE CAUSED the bullshit in LA...he is an EGO driven BIATCH...this is why this will be his 4th team during his career....What fukin "SUPERSTAR" gets traded FOUR times in a career let alone ONCE? Unless he is a Certified A-Hole? LAKE SHOW BITCHES.....

Question.....

If Obama gets the nomination for President, should Rev. Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton (Spelling on that one sorry) publicly back him or not? Please give me your answer and why I would like some feed back and talk about this one. Personally I think if they back him in public the opposite effect will take place and people will think Obama is only for blacks and no one else as both sharpton and jackson have both seem to have been in the past. I feel that will put a bad taste in peoples mouths, but tell me what you think please. And no one sentance answers give me more than just no i think it won't hurt. Tell me your reasons. Thank you

Super Tuesday

Big voting day tomorrow. Be sure to cast your vote if the primary is being held in your state. I am all for Obama and will cast my vote accordingly!!!

More things to make you angry...

FBI wants a biometric database of everyones eye scans, hand prints, finger prints, moles, tattoos, ejaculate etc...

Of course you hear this in the article:

Kimberly Del Greco, the FBI's Biometric Services section chief, said adding to the database is "important to protect the borders to keep the terrorists out, protect our citizens, our neighbors, our children so they can have good jobs, and have a safe country to live in."

Un-fucking real.

Another Prediction

Patriots 38 - Giants 24. The pats, I mean cheaters, I mean Pats will win easily and go down as one of the best teams ever. And all this despite them being nailed for video tape shit again